There’s a Magic in losing



I have 3 trophies in my house, 3. One for a cooking contest won back in high school another  Best Science student trophy and a  recent one from poetry challenge.3, its not much but they say 3 is a magic number, that everything that comes in 3s is perfect…its  a latin phrase "omne trium perfectum" everything that comes in threes is perfect

Yes, 3 is a magic number…But I got involved  with more than 3 contests or competitions…so much competitions, challenges and contests…writing, essays, running, gymnastics, swimming, spelling you name it… I’m front row losing.
I think I participated in almost 30 Competitions if not more in Primary school only. Never won once! Now you woulda thought that would break ol girl’s heart but noooo…. At one point I took a seat and said I’ve had it I’ve never won anything, ever…but The losing…built me.
 It made me Goddamn funny too, by high school I had at least 10 break the ice lines for whenever I lost ..my favorite was
‘Oh I forgot to pay them again’
…I was focusing more on winning than on the competition.
I tried harder every single  time. I would go back try fix my little mistakes and yes I’d cry a little, okay… a lot I never handled losing very well, as  a child I was extremely  competitive. Sports day in st.marys there were 4 teams red house blue house yellow house and green house, I was in  red house and was up for the running challenge, 1000 meters at the national stadium , long story short I lost, coming out 4th from a race of 8 wasn’t much of an achievement, I got so sick I stayed home for a week. Yes, I was that competitive, my face could not be seen at school again, I had failed the challenge…and the next sports day I was up and running, I was 8 this time….sick again. Of course the teachers would use their ‘never give up’ lines with me all the time, encouraging me and amazed at my effort of never backing down even after finishing last…but they eventually got tired of the little runner who couldn’t run and got sick when she lost, one class teacher broke it down to me ‘Kid, you cant run’
I got good at concentrating, questioning myself, my weaknesses, my strengths, because for every damn time I lost I would go back and try see where I went wrong reassess myself while the winners were parading their trophies

Anyone who has ever lost will tell u, there’s a magic in losing, it builds ur stamina, ur drive at one point you'r almost more ambitious, you have more to prove than the winner.
Because a winner is most vulnerable right after finding out that they won

Bruce Lee once said ( I heard this in a movie)  -that to truly succeed you need to learn ‘the art of dying’ which I think means you can only understand the route to success if you understand  the route to failure

Losing is the best thing that can happen to you. Awards trophies are all nice, but do they really inspire you to succeed more than that kick to the ground? You're never too big to lose, when I was younger I never really understood how someone could work so hard and still lose, this was why I always cried.

Everyone is so scared of losing that winning has become taboo.
I went to school with a little self named baby genius, he was a cocky one…failure was not an option. I played chess with him once  he let me win coz he thought I was wasting his time and he was hungry.. boy oh boy was I angry.
‘Do you really think I’m that incapable of beating you that you let me win’ I felt insulted
‘hey im just hungry and this is taking forever’ he says
Long story short I bought him a sandwich and we played for 2 more hours, I won.
In exams he would cheat if he thought he was going to fail. And his cheating got worse too, I heard he got go expelled from his college for cheating, has the need to win got that vast that we have forgotten all about the competition?
 A psychology professor from Stanford University once said that kids respond positively to praise they enjoy it. But they collapse at the first experience of difficulty. Demoralized by their failure, they say they’d rather cheat than risk failing again.
I was going to try cheating once, in college, it was a tough paper, me and study group decided…we’re not going to make it, so we did the unthinkable…we made a little mini sized book of all the possible questions and their answers…and some stupid fellow said Jackie should be the one to walk in with it, don’t let my bluff fool you…I am more chicken than the chicken itself…I talked my way out of it and my friend decided she would take it in…she’d done it before so she was confident…but I talked my way out of it because well, it wouldn’t feel like such a success if I passed the paper from cheating, my ego would never let me win, so i decided, heck...I'm flunking this paper
We walked into the exam room…and right before the question papers were handed  the mini sized book fell…right in the middle of row…the professor walked by  picked it up…asked  the owner to step forward or he would mark the whole row zero. Silence. He asked twice, silence.
‘Very well’ he said walking out with the answer sheets of the whole row…she was going to stand but then I did. I took one for the team…I think they called me Jesus the whole semester. I stood because, she had been caught cheating in about 4 cases and a 5th would mean her whole semester results would be canceled, and then here was me with a clean record, the good girl, the girl no professor would believe was capable of cheating,long story short I blamed it on the devil and talked my way out of it. 10 marks canceled off my coursework (that’s quite a lot)

We’re all  afraid to lose, and we’re afraid to lose because we feel the world would see us inadequate, sure if we lost in secrecy no one would mind, a little shattered egos here and there that could be fixed with wine but the public eye is poison, to our souls and to our minds. There’s nothing quite as terrible as the fear of failure. Conquer that fear. Accepting failure and allowing it  to be our learning point, builds us

We often forget that losing gives us an ability to overcome our setbacks.

So next time u lose, sit back relax and better yourself, For u.
Meanwhile this whole article is a result of losing a recent ‘thou shalt not be named’ trophy and Yes I am still crying about it, however I now realize that the world still moves and life is not all about a trophy awarded to you by a certain group of individuals who wear nice suits and speak 5 languages and smell really sexy, phooey----Sad I already reserved a corner for it in my bathroom. (the toughest decisions go down in there in the tub, from 'who should we vote for, what am I doing with my life and will mother approve of this man?'…so I reserve a lot of space for things that inspire me to keep me focused)



PS; Losers have the best speeches don’t we?...